"Sports reporters know how to make deadlines," my Deseret News editor commented last week.
At the time, I was proud. Today, as I attempt to track down where in the Web universe my old sports articles have ended up, I remembered how truly terrible I was at making deadlines those first two months. I have an excuse- I didn't own a laptop then and it took me that long to find out the HBLL lent laptops to students for free- but I bet my tendency to be late had something to do with the less-than-peachy relationship I first had with my Universe editor and the women's basketball SID (Sports Information Director). I can't believe it took me this long to figure that out, but there it is. And with it returns the unhappy memory of my editor taking me aside one day and telling me I wasn't meeting expectations. I knew I could be better at making deadlines, but up to that point none of my editors had ever complained. I thought they understood my laptop limitations (and I did get much better at making my deadline after I started bringing the HBLL's laptops to the court with me), but I had no idea they also thought my writing was lacking.
Why didn't you tell me? I want to ask. Why didn't you give me things to work on and tell me where I was failing? When I asked what I needed to do better, you said something about my personality maybe not being a good fit for reporting- all I heard was, everything you have done up to now is second-rate, and you will never be able to fix it.
My only consolation that day was a good friend who was there when I needed her, and the knowledge that if I had listened every time somebody told me, you can't do this, I would not be where I am today.
I have many weaknesses. Two in particular keep coming to mind as I sit here writing this: 1) I don't have a very thick skin. I hope to change that, bit by bit, in the coming years. 2) I am very easily distracted. Look at all the time I just wasted getting this little chip off my shoulder when I should have been trying to write an advance for Merrill Osmond's pioneer pageant coming up in July! (I've been putting it off because I'm lacking information I can only get in the interview scheduled for next week, but I can at least look over what I do have again and see if I can prepare any more for it.)
One last thought: I do learn from my mistakes. I'm excellent at it because I'm so well practiced.
And I know how to make deadlines.
Your tenacity to keep working towards your goals even when someone discourages you is one thing I am very proud of you for. Shame on that teacher for brushing you off like that when you asked for feedback. After all, isn't that why you were taking the class? I hope you didn't give him a very good rating at the end of the year. FYI, I think you give off the perception of having very thick skin.
ReplyDeleteThis was very insightful. If you can look outside yourself and find ways to improve and then do it, as you have described, there is nothing you can't do. Sometimes it's the distractions that allow you to be creative and see an original view of an ordinary story.
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